Ya'll Ready For This?!!

Yes this may be a line of a song that has been going through mind today, but it is more the feeling that I am directing to the world in reference to my preparation to serve a MISSION!!! I couldn't be more excited about  this most amazingly fantastical blessing I have to be a part of!!! Now that finals are over and I have more time to focus before school starts back next semester I am working on my mission papers and it is such an amazing experience! Ever since I was a little girl I always knew I wanted to serve a mission, I just wasn't sure when that time would be. But when I got the conformation I knew that there was simply nothing more incredible I could be doing with my life right now than serving a mission! This is the perfect time to take hold of this opportunity to devote 18 months of my life to this unique service for the Lord! Over the past few days I have sorted out a few situations that have been on my mind, which has been such a relief, and now that I know where I stand I can fully focus my attention on my preparations. When I make a decision to turn my attention to an important opportunity that is going to take a lot of time and effort I try to make sure that there is nothing in my life that I feel confused or uneasy about which might take away from what I need to. That approach has served me well my whole life.The Lord deserves me in my best state, no distractions, and I deserve no less.


Over the last few weeks I have talked with my friends about their missions, watched friends open their mission calls, and have enjoyed looking at my brothers mission pics and it makes me more excited every day! I know that a mission requires a tremendous amount work and is a time when I will be relying greatly upon the Lord for strength and I am excited to become more acquainted with my savior on such a significantly deeper level. I know girls who decided to serve missions because they were frustrated with the present situations in which they found themselves in there lives. I am so glad that is not why I am going. I feel that a mission will add so much to who I am and to who I want to be and I can't think of a more amazing way to do that right now! I think that preparing for my mission is the absolute ultimate new years resolution for this upcoming year because it covers so many of the ambitions that I wish to improve on. My mission will give me a life boost and an experience that will prepare me for many other great opportunities that will take place after my mission. Can't wait to find out where those amazing 18 months of my life will be spent!!

A Sweet Reminder

     I wake up, its Christmas!! Get ready for church, sister takes longer (much longer) than everyone else, trying to get everyone out the door to be on time. Rushing. I carry little 2 year old Chase into the chapel and barely sit down in a pew before the opening prayer. Yes the morning has been a little hectic. The first talk is given. Chase becomes restless and starts to softly cry "I want to go home, I don't want to be to church" several times, or a few dozen. He repeats his cry, this time more loudly. I hold him on my lap trying to figure out a way to calm him down. Then a prompting comes to me. I carefully lean down and whisper, "Chase do you know who's birthday it is today?" He looks up and answers "no". I then proceed to tell him that it is Jesus's birthday and we have come to church because we love him and want to help him celebrate his birthday and that we have to be reverent in order to do that. I know that even his little 2 year old mind understands what I mean by this and he finally calms down letting me stroke his hair as we listen to the heartfelt words and musical numbers. I quickly realized that the thought to ask Chase if he knew why we were there was not only to help calm him down, but also to help me step out of what had been a rushed morning and become more focused on something other than myself. It is much more than a day of gratitude or a day of giving. It is a day of CHRIST! This description may seem simplistic, but isn't it profound?


     The birth of our Savior is one of the most  life changing happenings in the history of this earth. Without this event we would receive no salvation! Without him their would be no hope, no joy, and no peace for how could we find those things without his light? The Savior, my very own brother, has made it possible that I may live this mortal experience and that I may return to a heaven so incredible that I am not even capable of remembering it with this human brain of mine. He is the truth and the light of all that has been and ever will be created! So as I sat there in church and personally asked myself  "do you know who's day it is today" I realized that I had started off this day thinking about a great deal of things but the one who gave me gift of this day. I am grateful that I was able to receive this sweet reminder of what it means to truly celebrate the day of Christ as well as what I can to do make his name and his life a part of mine for this upcoming year! This knowledge makes it possible for me to have a Merry Christmas 365 days a year!

Legitimate request?....I think Yes!

Actions are funny things, they have a tendency to get a little confusing. To be perfectly honest I am not someone who does well with subtle cues that supposedly withhold a deeper meaning for me to uncover. Don't get me wrong I do quite enjoy mysteries and puzzles and such; however, not the kind that involve certain matters. Straightforwardness is more of my preferred avenue. I don't find myself to be an intimidating person so I don't understand why someone would avoid saying what is on their mind. I would love knowing that someone trusted and respected me enough to just come and talk to me. Is this too much to ask?....I submit that it is not. A distinct word, a clear meaning; what does this mean? Only that if you have something you would like to say, the best option would be to use your mouth. No games, no mysteries, just words. I feel that I deserve at least that much. I can promise that it's really not as hard as one might think. And if you're are not trying to convey something, then don't involve yourself in the actions that would bring about inaccurate assumptions. Just a little food for thought.

A walk in your shoes, a walk in mine.

A reoccurring thought over these past two weeks....."My faith in humanity has been restored." What an absolutely incredible experience! This is mostly in part because of the final project in my adolescent development class. For our final project we were to take a deep look into our adolescence and apply what we had learned in class to construct an autobiography of our teen years and gain a better understanding of what has influenced us to develop into who we are today. At first I have to admit I was not at all thrilled by this assignment because it meant bringing up and remembering things that are somewhat difficult to think about. I became even more aware of this as I began writing.


 Wow I began remembering events that I haven't thought of in a while, such as the mess of with having to testify in court and dealing with the drama between the parents during their divorce. Oh yes it was quite eventful. I also wrote a little bit about the battle I had with anorexia at age 14 and how that experience has made me into a stronger person and helped me realize how precious this life is! Well there were also other more positive things that constructed my autobiography however the written part was only part of the project. The other half was presenting what we had written about. I honestly don't mind doing presentations but the thought of having to present about some of my adolescent events made me a little apprehensive. Anyways finally I finished my autobiography  (thank the heavenly stars). The presentations were spread over the next two weeks and I was scheduled to go on the last day of class. I figured that since I talked about how music has impacted my life in my autobiography that I could just talk about that part and then perform a song for my class with my guitar. I guess you could call it my way of taking the safe way out. However my perspective on this whole experience would soon change.


As people began presenting about their adolescence the atmosphere in our class became a tremendous bonding experience between all of the students. Many deep and personal experiences were shared and many emotions were felt by everyone. I was simply amazed by the experiences some people had to go through in their lives and how they were able to overcome so many different things. I can't really explain it but I grew to love every person in that class and felt a bond to everyone seeing how they were able to become such strong people! As my time to present drew nearer I had a more peaceful feeling about sharing more personal experiences from my life to the class. So this last Thursday night was when I presented. I ending up sharing a few different things including a little about my parents divorce and my eating disorder and about their impact on me as well as the positive growth I experienced. I then played and sang a song that for me sort of resembled parts of my adolescence. Over all my presentation went really really well!


At the end of class, our professor had us share what we thought of this whole experience of getting to know who we have become and why. I felt that this experience was a way to understand that we as human beings are really a lot more alike than we think and sharing these kinds of experiences helps us realize that. It also made me gain a respect and greater faith in people even though we may be very different. This experience has helped me gain a greater faith in myself and helped me to understand who I have become and why that is. Dude I think that everyone needs this experience, what greater gift can you give yourself than to come to a better understanding of who you are!


Now I am not saying that I always perfectly understand myself or the things in my life but I have become more aware the experiences that this life holds for me and of all the great things that I can learn from them. In short I have learned that life is good, in fact life is amazing! We have the potential to make it better every day we chose to really truly live with no regrets, no fear, and a heart that is wide open!!

Liberation

I have realized lately that sometimes I can be very demanding of myself. This proves true in instances when I say I will do something and truly have the desire to follow through with that intention but am unable to because of certain circumstances. This is what happened today. I made several commitments and fully intended to keep them however I was simply not able to because of some things that I don't really have control over at the moment . As a result I felt that I was leaving people hanging. 

For about a month now my body has just not been willing to cooperate on several different levels and quite frankly it has been very painful and frustrating. Because of this I have not been able to take part in one of my top stress relievers (aka the gym) which has not helped me much either. I tend to be very good at masking the way I am feeling and hate making a big deal out of things so many times people have no idea if something is wrong. However I realize that I am very understanding when these types of things happen to other people.

 So why don't I cut myself some slack? Good question. Note to self.....the slack starts now. This applies to all different dimensions of life. My best is all I can do; sometimes it may not be exactly what I was looking for or wanting to accomplish, but it is enough. Life is too short to waist in thoughts that will yield no positive outcomes. 

P.S. sorry if some of this doesn't make sense, I am on some lovely meds. =)

A Time of Thanks

        This has been a fantastic Thanksgiving holiday! I just realized the other night that this is the first Thanksgiving that I have been able to spend with my mom, brother, and sister in 4 years since I have been living out here in Utah. It is so good to have them close and to be able to see them often. I loved spending time with Aubry my little sis as we both laughed, talked, sang, and danced around the kitchen as we cooked and prepared yummy holiday fixins. She made her very first homemade sweet potato casserole and I made my very first homemade pecan pie......and I have to say they both turned out to be quite delicious!! Silly perhaps, but I loved seeing how my brother waited until every woman in the house had their food and were sitting at the table before he even thought about getting food for himself (such a gentleman).  One of the best things about the holidays is the little ones. My three little cousins are so much fun, they make me feel like a kid again. As I got to cuddle with little Brennan and play with 2 year old Chase (who always seems to get into mischief that always makes me laugh), it made me think about what my kids will look like someday and what it will be like to hold them, love them, and raise them. What a tremendous responsibility, but what a great blessing and joy that will be! Family, they are simply the best!


      A few weeks ago I also had my birthday. I can't believe that I am 22 years old!! I remember looking at people that are my age when I was young and thinking "I will never get that old". Haha well I think that my from my present point of view, I still have some good years a head of me. I have just been thinking lately about all the things that I have been through and have learned during these last 22 years and about how that has influenced me in my life. Its crazy to see how much I have overcome and grown. Maybe I would have never personally selected some of my growing experiences but I would never say they weren't worth going through. A few years ago I honestly never would have thought that I would be where I am today or that I could have gotten passed certain obstacles that at the time I viewed as impossible to surpass. However amazingly I have, and I am continuing to learn how to overcome things and to refocus myself on the things that are most important in this life with the help of a loving Heavenly Father who has lever left me alone. "22", whatever you hold for me.....Bring it on!!

The Best Is Yet To Come!

    On Friday I made a very important decision! And just in case you are wondering....It is a fantastic one!! I have had a lot on my mind lately. I have been trying to figure out exactly what I need to be doing in order to get to the best possible place in my life and to really feel like I am being the most productive. Somehow however; it seemed that I was just not quite getting to that point, there was just something missing and I couldn't figure out what it was.


      My mind was, well sort of foggy and it seemed that I was having trouble making up my mind about what to do about different things like school and such. Well recently I have been thinking and praying about some different opportunities but just in the past few days one in particular suddenly stood out far beyond the others. This past week in fact I went to the temple several times just trying to get my thoughts in order. But when I went to the temple this weekend, Bam it hit me! I got the answer that I needed . It was one of the most amazing conformations I have ever had. One of the best things about it was that I couldn't stop smiling. I just sat there in the temple feeling more peace and joy than I have in a long time and just smiled. Ha and I am sure people were wondering what in the world I was thinking about!


     I wish I could express the way that I feel because the decision to pray about this certain question came about so suddenly and so did the answer that I was so surprised, but I know that it is right! The Lord knows what we need and when we need it and I know that he has a plan for what he wants me to be doing at this time right now in my life. I am excited to make the best of it! Sometimes the best answers come at an unexpected times but can provide the greatest blessings we didn't even know were presently available!

Study....LIGHT BULB!

     Well as some of you may know this week is midterm week (yipee the semester is half way over!) and so I have been sitting here in my room studying for all of the lovely up coming tests and such. As I have been going over my notes from my Sociology class I got to the chapter about different types of love in relationships and for some odd reason a light went off  in my brain and something just clicked in the middle of my review. In class I had written down something that I really didn't think much about at the time but as I was reviewing my notes I had to pause to read it again because it made me excited and gave me one of those "can I hear and amen" moments!

     It reads.... "Why is it important for us to know and understand the many different types of love? It is so we can understand what our love style is and how if affects others, so that we may see how others we become involved with view and desire to experience love, and to see how each person's own view of love affects their own experience. This helps us be more realistic in our love expectations understanding that it is ok to be different in relationships."

     Wow simple but so profound! Many people don't stop and take time to think about what it means to have realistic expectations. Realistic doesn't mean perfection, it means taking time to understand what differences are and why those differences are present. Mars and Venus will never think in the same ways but relationships are about creating an atmosphere where it is comfortable to talk about anything and everything in order to build a connection that is open, honest ,and safe for both people.

     That is what I want more than anything; to feel so comfortable with someone, being the whole and complete Autumn. Knowing that they will love and be proud of me because of who I am and will want to be a part of the things that have made me into the person I have become. There is no greater gift than that!  What an amazing experience that will be!

Wisdom from a not so distant past

Thank You Audrey Hepburn for helping us realize that the life we all experience is created much by how we react to it. Loving this life is the only way I want to live it!

I don't care who you are .....that was Amazing!

        If you don't already know what I am referring to, it would be the amazing day of conference talks, spirit and pure joy that has taken place today!! And the great thing is that tomorrow is going to be just as fantastic! My mom, brother, and I were able to be in the conference center for the first session which is such an amazing experience that I always look forward to! There is a feeling around temple square that is unlike any other place. There is just something about conference weekend that can bring me above anything and fill me with the feeling that I can conquer anything in the whole world. I have had prayers answered and have had my mind opened to things that make me excited about the future.

       Every time I heard a talk I would think "oh this has to be my favorite one so far" and then the same thing would happen with the next. A main theme was that if we just follow what the lord and his prophets ask us to do then things will turn out alright! It's days like this that re-affirm for me the knowledge that this gospel is the most precious and life changing thing that has been created! And there are no words that can help me express the gratitude I feel for the opportunity I have to be a part of it!
                                                                               

Lifted !

     Wow what a beginning to the week! Yesterday Chruch was AMAZING, I have come to really appreciate Sundays even more this semester as a day of rest and reflection than I think I ever have before. I just love knowing that I can go to church, feel the spirit and not have to even think about work or school for the whole day! And today I was so filled with the spirit while sitting in institute learning about the importance of the atonement and to more fully apply it to ourselves. As I heard words I knew that they were exactly what I needed to hear right now. It just proves that the lord truly knows what we need and when we need it.

     And tonight while at FHE Brother Hunter gave a fabulous lesson! He made it enjoyable while at the same time making us think about things that are important. He talked about relationships and the things that we need to remember when considering the complexing aspects of two people trying to understand each other. Or in other words "Communicate"! I have been thinking about this and how when it comes to relationships it is important to remember that just because you go through something a little difficult or different than you are used to, it doesn't mean its the end of the world. The point is to talk about why something may not be going the way you would like it to be going in order to know where you both stand so that you can effectively work through it......because like anything in this life you have to put effort into something in order to make it work
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          Fantastic stuff right? Well anyways there is my little share and tell from the heart and soul of a girl who is very tired and ready for dreamland! Sleep tight mondo meraviglioso !

Yay Finally It Works!

Lol, so for the past 3 weeks or so I have not been able to log onto my blog. I tried changing my password and everything but for some reason it would never let me reset it. But now I have now been magically allowed back into the world of bloggers!! Trumpets sounding......applause applause, thank you so much my fellow friends!
     So anyways there have been so many things that I have wanted to post; however, I can not longer remember what they were =P but lets just say I have been incredibly, crazily, enormously busy! Work is....eh work, you know the bit, and school is insane as is expected. I have never had this many classes that required so much reading at one time, but at least most of it is pretty interesting. Haha its so hard to get back into the rhythm of studying and I'm trying to get my brain to stop resisting it and just go with it. This semester I am taking Adolescent Psych, Soc of the Family, Psych of Gender, and Abnormal Psych. Yes yes I know lots of Psych right. So watch out cause I will be evaluating all ya'll ! Jk , Jk but really it is so interesting to be able to learn about the human mind in so many different aspects. I think that many find learning about who we are and about our innermost details as human beings to be a frightening thing perhaps because it is not something that we are used to really contemplating. But it can also be a beautiful thing because we learn also about the strength of our minds, who we are as individuals, and about how powerful we really are; and when thinking from an LDS perspective, the lord is the one who created our minds and so coming to understand ourselves in a way is coming a little closer to the one who created us.
      Well anyways thats the life of school at the moment as this year quickly rolls on! However that means that we are now heading into my season! Yep that's right, I got my name all over it! The weather is already starting to feel somewhat cooler (already have all my hoodies out and ready to go), which is absolutely fabulous and I can tell that fall is coming just by the smell in the air. Oh there is nothing else quite like the aroma of this time of year! The first official day of fall this year is "Sep 23" so it's drawing near, which reminds me that I need to try and get one more camping trip in before it gets too cold! One of my favorite things that I can't wait for is when all the leaves start turning colors! I will definitely be taking trips up the canyon to enjoy the full benefits of what we refer to back home as the season of fruit loops =)! That is one thing I miss about home in NC is that you are completely surrounded by all the fall colors because of the abundance of trees, but Utah does a pretty good job of fulfilling that for me as well.
        This is my favorite time of year because even though it brings about the stresses of another school semester it has outweighing benefits such as; BYU football, bonfires, hiking up the canyon to enjoy the beautiful sights, bbqing with the family, some fabulous picture taking of all the fall colors, stake conference, General Conference (I'm so excited), Halloween, ThanksGiving, and MY BIRTHDAY (Nov 12th)!! So yeah I would say that there are some pretty sweet things that are ahead. The important thing I have to remember is to take time to soak in every great moment of it so that I enjoy every piece of the goodness.

      Wow what I great life this is ya know! The strength of the lord has been shown to me these past few weeks, as I have been going through a variety of some rather stressful experiences, just a lot of things going on all at once. Everytime I start feeling down the spirit always reminds me that the Lord really loves me and knows my needs, my desires, my fears, and all that is in store for me in the future. I just have to keep my thoughts on him and keep re-aligning my goals with what he wants me to do. Sometimes I wish that I could really physically feel Heavenly Father's arms around me because sometimes to be held in a firm loving embrace is all that I want. Wouldn't that be one of the greatest things ever?!! But in a way when I am trying to do all that I need to do to bring myself closer to him I do feel his loving arms around me with the comforting peace of the spirit and the feeling that he is right there with me. Its the greatest comfort to know that I have a Heavenly dad and brother who love me perfectly, who have and continue to do everything they can to help me with what I need to do everyday! Realizing this and so many of the other blessings that I have been given helps me to understand the Plan of Happiness a little better and the importance of always keeping Heavenly Father and my Savior as number one in my book everyday because I know that I will never be put on a waiting list with the Lord!

 

      There have been several posts that I have started these past few weeks but have not posted them because I didn't quite know exactly where I stood with some things, but now my mind is clearer and more at ease. I have felt so many different emotions these past few weeks and have come to realize so much about myself and about what is important to me. I cannot even believe how time has passed this summer now that school is almost upon us. I feel that I have had about 1 years worth of experiences within about 3 months. At the start of this summer I wrote in one of my posts that I was not going to be afraid to take a chance on anything just because it is an unknown territory. This was the story of my summer of 2011.
      It has been so weird to see how I act in different situations especially if they are new while then trying to figure out why that is. It is all part of one amazing word called "Learning". It seems that you could come to learn more about yourself by taking on 1 new experience than if you were to experience a stagnant life ten times over. Is there chance for disappointment and frustration?...... of course but does it prevent you from gaining the growth you were meant to experience.....Never! One of the most important things I have learned this summer is the importance of words. Words can make or break anything and the absence of them as well can make anything very difficult. I feel like sometimes words have a mind of there own and make speaking as well as understanding them very confusing. However at the same time it is amazing how words through one simple conversation can help you pinpoint exact thoughts and feelings that you have tried to convey a dozen times before. 
        I think that one of the greatest pitfalls is that people over complicate things in communication. Yes communication is vital but it is also simple and when it comes to the point that we over think things, then it can become harder to have a normal flowing conversation.
      There are more types of communication than I could have ever imagined, both spoken and unspoken and it takes work and patience to see that both spoken and unspoken communication are conveying the same message at the same time.
       An analogy comes to mind, weird perhaps.... but it makes sense in my head. Right now from my window I am watching one of the biggest rainstorms that I have seen in a long while and I love it! What makes a good rainstorm? Think about it, would you enjoy a rainstorm half as much if the sun were still shining or if you weren't able to enjoy the sounds of the thunder, the whistle of the wind and the flicker of lightning? Well I wouldn't =) .  It takes all of these simple ingredients working together at the same time to be able to appreciate and enjoy a perfect rainstorm and without one of those elements, it just is not the same. So it is with communication and relationships ( Yes I said the "R" word ). Without one important element it always feels like something is missing. And you have to find the courage to not only see what that missing element is, but why its missing.
      Now all there is to do is to keep moving forward and remind myself of what I always say ...... "there is always room for adjustment and improvement". I think that everyone has the tools to make this crazy world of communication a great experience. We just need to come to a deeper understanding of ourselves in order to use those tools to construct something amazing.

So its been about a week since I have updated, and just to let you know.... LIFE IS AMAZING !! My new job is going very well, and I have achieved 100% accuracy on all of my calls for the past 2 weeks...cha-ching! Let me share with you some more of the recent awesomeness; girls nights with the roommies, fun times with the fam, learning new songs on the guitar with my BFFs, camping, hiking the "Y", campfires and smores, midnight smoothie run, quote board fun ;) adventure walks around Bridal Veil Falls and Sundance, surprises, and fun dates! So yeah I would have to say that my life is pretty eventful at the moment !

        I feel that this summer has not only been filled with rockin fun, but also with new experiences that have helped me learn a lot about myself which is always encouraging and amusing at the same time. Some things I have learned so far; you cannot fear things but take them one step at a time, life is about taking risks and understanding that it is ok to give yourself permission to experience and enjoy something new without a perfect knowledge of where it will end up, "Trust" is a big word but it can be built by the smallest and simplest of things, those who care.....show you, every experience you have is a two way street, the most accurate picture of your life is not only about what is given to you but how you personally choose to interpret it as well, those who respect you respect you enough to help you live what is important to you! And most importantly, God can do anything!!

      Wow sorry I didn't expect that to be such a long list, but hey when you live, you learn and I just had to share a small glimpse of the goodness that has come along with that! Well, peace out till next time and remember that with whatever place in time you are at , you can always make it better by being true to who you are! And as I always say ......"Positive thoughts"  =) 

Great day today! It is so good to know that I have such amazing friends who not only accept me for who I am but make me feel good about being myself! Good people fill your life with good experiences that make each day a pleasure to greet!

Quote of the day: " Hold a true friend with both your hands. ”  ~ Nigerian Proverb

One thing I learned today is to give people the benefit of the doubt! But it is also important to remember that you can't do that without being true to yourself and what you feel!

Quote of the day: "Because the soul has such deep roots in personal and social life and its values run so contrary to modern concerns, caring for the soul may well turn out to be a radical act, a challenge to accepted norms.”

I love Sundays ! Uplifting words heard in church remind me every week of why I love this gospel so much and about the most important things I need to be thinking about and working on during the rest of my week! I can't imagine not having the things that this gospel provides for us! Sometimes I realize how much I take it for granted and then I am reminded of how many people don't have the knowledge I have grown up with my whole life and it makes me that much more determined to make this gospel the largest part of my life! Today when I went and visited my family, my siblings and I sat around the table and shared our favorite Sunday music with each other and while we listened to it we shared thoughts and experiences from the previous week with each other! Like the amazing words that were shared in church today, this gospel and this life are about the simple things. At times our lives may seem very complicated and frustrating, but really, true joy is found in taking advantage of simplicity and in following Christ's plan for us! Thanks to those who reminded me of that today through the spirit of their testimonies!..... So remember how I said I LOVE sharing quotes, well here is one that I found today that for some reason touched my heart far beyond the others!

Quote of the day: You may not know,
But it is absolutely true:
With each heartbeat
Your heart is calling: ,"God", "God"
You may not hear it,
But God Himself definitely hears
Your heart's cry.

So this whole world of blogging is a new thing for me and so I am going to have fun with this and see how it goes! I am excited to have a special place where I can share all kinds of different things; happy times, sad times, thoughts and ideas, new experiences, and one of my favorite things in the whole world......quotes I have found that bring me joy and help me understand things I am experiencing! I decided to name my blog "One Place In Time" because if there is one thing in my life that I have learned it is that with anything you go through you have to remember that you can only think about one place in your life at a time and that is the here and now. You can't worry about the past because it is behind you and you can't spend your time worrying about the future because you will waste away the beauty of today ! So I guess it's more of a reminder for myself to take life one day and place at a time and breath in each new life experience with the mind set that each step will help me grow to a place and into the person that I want to be! Every day, every experience, every moment is "One Place In Time" !