Yes this may be a line of a song that has been going through mind today, but it is more the feeling that I am directing to the world in reference to my preparation to serve a MISSION!!! I couldn't be more excited about this most amazingly fantastical blessing I have to be a part of!!! Now that finals are over and I have more time to focus before school starts back next semester I am working on my mission papers and it is such an amazing experience! Ever since I was a little girl I always knew I wanted to serve a mission, I just wasn't sure when that time would be. But when I got the conformation I knew that there was simply nothing more incredible I could be doing with my life right now than serving a mission! This is the perfect time to take hold of this opportunity to devote 18 months of my life to this unique service for the Lord! Over the past few days I have sorted out a few situations that have been on my mind, which has been such a relief, and now that I know where I stand I can fully focus my attention on my preparations. When I make a decision to turn my attention to an important opportunity that is going to take a lot of time and effort I try to make sure that there is nothing in my life that I feel confused or uneasy about which might take away from what I need to. That approach has served me well my whole life.The Lord deserves me in my best state, no distractions, and I deserve no less.
Over the last few weeks I have talked with my friends about their missions, watched friends open their mission calls, and have enjoyed looking at my brothers mission pics and it makes me more excited every day! I know that a mission requires a tremendous amount work and is a time when I will be relying greatly upon the Lord for strength and I am excited to become more acquainted with my savior on such a significantly deeper level. I know girls who decided to serve missions because they were frustrated with the present situations in which they found themselves in there lives. I am so glad that is not why I am going. I feel that a mission will add so much to who I am and to who I want to be and I can't think of a more amazing way to do that right now! I think that preparing for my mission is the absolute ultimate new years resolution for this upcoming year because it covers so many of the ambitions that I wish to improve on. My mission will give me a life boost and an experience that will prepare me for many other great opportunities that will take place after my mission. Can't wait to find out where those amazing 18 months of my life will be spent!!
Friday, December 30, 2011
Monday, December 26, 2011
A Sweet Reminder
I wake up, its Christmas!! Get ready for church, sister takes longer (much longer) than everyone else, trying to get everyone out the door to be on time. Rushing. I carry little 2 year old Chase into the chapel and barely sit down in a pew before the opening prayer. Yes the morning has been a little hectic. The first talk is given. Chase becomes restless and starts to softly cry "I want to go home, I don't want to be to church" several times, or a few dozen. He repeats his cry, this time more loudly. I hold him on my lap trying to figure out a way to calm him down. Then a prompting comes to me. I carefully lean down and whisper, "Chase do you know who's birthday it is today?" He looks up and answers "no". I then proceed to tell him that it is Jesus's birthday and we have come to church because we love him and want to help him celebrate his birthday and that we have to be reverent in order to do that. I know that even his little 2 year old mind understands what I mean by this and he finally calms down letting me stroke his hair as we listen to the heartfelt words and musical numbers. I quickly realized that the thought to ask Chase if he knew why we were there was not only to help calm him down, but also to help me step out of what had been a rushed morning and become more focused on something other than myself. It is much more than a day of gratitude or a day of giving. It is a day of CHRIST! This description may seem simplistic, but isn't it profound?
The birth of our Savior is one of the most life changing happenings in the history of this earth. Without this event we would receive no salvation! Without him their would be no hope, no joy, and no peace for how could we find those things without his light? The Savior, my very own brother, has made it possible that I may live this mortal experience and that I may return to a heaven so incredible that I am not even capable of remembering it with this human brain of mine. He is the truth and the light of all that has been and ever will be created! So as I sat there in church and personally asked myself "do you know who's day it is today" I realized that I had started off this day thinking about a great deal of things but the one who gave me gift of this day. I am grateful that I was able to receive this sweet reminder of what it means to truly celebrate the day of Christ as well as what I can to do make his name and his life a part of mine for this upcoming year! This knowledge makes it possible for me to have a Merry Christmas 365 days a year!
The birth of our Savior is one of the most life changing happenings in the history of this earth. Without this event we would receive no salvation! Without him their would be no hope, no joy, and no peace for how could we find those things without his light? The Savior, my very own brother, has made it possible that I may live this mortal experience and that I may return to a heaven so incredible that I am not even capable of remembering it with this human brain of mine. He is the truth and the light of all that has been and ever will be created! So as I sat there in church and personally asked myself "do you know who's day it is today" I realized that I had started off this day thinking about a great deal of things but the one who gave me gift of this day. I am grateful that I was able to receive this sweet reminder of what it means to truly celebrate the day of Christ as well as what I can to do make his name and his life a part of mine for this upcoming year! This knowledge makes it possible for me to have a Merry Christmas 365 days a year!
Monday, December 12, 2011
Legitimate request?....I think Yes!
Actions are funny things, they have a tendency to get a little confusing. To be perfectly honest I am not someone who does well with subtle cues that supposedly withhold a deeper meaning for me to uncover. Don't get me wrong I do quite enjoy mysteries and puzzles and such; however, not the kind that involve certain matters. Straightforwardness is more of my preferred avenue. I don't find myself to be an intimidating person so I don't understand why someone would avoid saying what is on their mind. I would love knowing that someone trusted and respected me enough to just come and talk to me. Is this too much to ask?....I submit that it is not. A distinct word, a clear meaning; what does this mean? Only that if you have something you would like to say, the best option would be to use your mouth. No games, no mysteries, just words. I feel that I deserve at least that much. I can promise that it's really not as hard as one might think. And if you're are not trying to convey something, then don't involve yourself in the actions that would bring about inaccurate assumptions. Just a little food for thought.
A walk in your shoes, a walk in mine.
A reoccurring thought over these past two weeks....."My faith in humanity has been restored." What an absolutely incredible experience! This is mostly in part because of the final project in my adolescent development class. For our final project we were to take a deep look into our adolescence and apply what we had learned in class to construct an autobiography of our teen years and gain a better understanding of what has influenced us to develop into who we are today. At first I have to admit I was not at all thrilled by this assignment because it meant bringing up and remembering things that are somewhat difficult to think about. I became even more aware of this as I began writing.
Wow I began remembering events that I haven't thought of in a while, such as the mess of with having to testify in court and dealing with the drama between the parents during their divorce. Oh yes it was quite eventful. I also wrote a little bit about the battle I had with anorexia at age 14 and how that experience has made me into a stronger person and helped me realize how precious this life is! Well there were also other more positive things that constructed my autobiography however the written part was only part of the project. The other half was presenting what we had written about. I honestly don't mind doing presentations but the thought of having to present about some of my adolescent events made me a little apprehensive. Anyways finally I finished my autobiography (thank the heavenly stars). The presentations were spread over the next two weeks and I was scheduled to go on the last day of class. I figured that since I talked about how music has impacted my life in my autobiography that I could just talk about that part and then perform a song for my class with my guitar. I guess you could call it my way of taking the safe way out. However my perspective on this whole experience would soon change.
As people began presenting about their adolescence the atmosphere in our class became a tremendous bonding experience between all of the students. Many deep and personal experiences were shared and many emotions were felt by everyone. I was simply amazed by the experiences some people had to go through in their lives and how they were able to overcome so many different things. I can't really explain it but I grew to love every person in that class and felt a bond to everyone seeing how they were able to become such strong people! As my time to present drew nearer I had a more peaceful feeling about sharing more personal experiences from my life to the class. So this last Thursday night was when I presented. I ending up sharing a few different things including a little about my parents divorce and my eating disorder and about their impact on me as well as the positive growth I experienced. I then played and sang a song that for me sort of resembled parts of my adolescence. Over all my presentation went really really well!
At the end of class, our professor had us share what we thought of this whole experience of getting to know who we have become and why. I felt that this experience was a way to understand that we as human beings are really a lot more alike than we think and sharing these kinds of experiences helps us realize that. It also made me gain a respect and greater faith in people even though we may be very different. This experience has helped me gain a greater faith in myself and helped me to understand who I have become and why that is. Dude I think that everyone needs this experience, what greater gift can you give yourself than to come to a better understanding of who you are!
Now I am not saying that I always perfectly understand myself or the things in my life but I have become more aware the experiences that this life holds for me and of all the great things that I can learn from them. In short I have learned that life is good, in fact life is amazing! We have the potential to make it better every day we chose to really truly live with no regrets, no fear, and a heart that is wide open!!
Wow I began remembering events that I haven't thought of in a while, such as the mess of with having to testify in court and dealing with the drama between the parents during their divorce. Oh yes it was quite eventful. I also wrote a little bit about the battle I had with anorexia at age 14 and how that experience has made me into a stronger person and helped me realize how precious this life is! Well there were also other more positive things that constructed my autobiography however the written part was only part of the project. The other half was presenting what we had written about. I honestly don't mind doing presentations but the thought of having to present about some of my adolescent events made me a little apprehensive. Anyways finally I finished my autobiography (thank the heavenly stars). The presentations were spread over the next two weeks and I was scheduled to go on the last day of class. I figured that since I talked about how music has impacted my life in my autobiography that I could just talk about that part and then perform a song for my class with my guitar. I guess you could call it my way of taking the safe way out. However my perspective on this whole experience would soon change.
As people began presenting about their adolescence the atmosphere in our class became a tremendous bonding experience between all of the students. Many deep and personal experiences were shared and many emotions were felt by everyone. I was simply amazed by the experiences some people had to go through in their lives and how they were able to overcome so many different things. I can't really explain it but I grew to love every person in that class and felt a bond to everyone seeing how they were able to become such strong people! As my time to present drew nearer I had a more peaceful feeling about sharing more personal experiences from my life to the class. So this last Thursday night was when I presented. I ending up sharing a few different things including a little about my parents divorce and my eating disorder and about their impact on me as well as the positive growth I experienced. I then played and sang a song that for me sort of resembled parts of my adolescence. Over all my presentation went really really well!
At the end of class, our professor had us share what we thought of this whole experience of getting to know who we have become and why. I felt that this experience was a way to understand that we as human beings are really a lot more alike than we think and sharing these kinds of experiences helps us realize that. It also made me gain a respect and greater faith in people even though we may be very different. This experience has helped me gain a greater faith in myself and helped me to understand who I have become and why that is. Dude I think that everyone needs this experience, what greater gift can you give yourself than to come to a better understanding of who you are!
Now I am not saying that I always perfectly understand myself or the things in my life but I have become more aware the experiences that this life holds for me and of all the great things that I can learn from them. In short I have learned that life is good, in fact life is amazing! We have the potential to make it better every day we chose to really truly live with no regrets, no fear, and a heart that is wide open!!
Monday, December 5, 2011
Liberation
I have realized lately that sometimes I can be very demanding of myself. This proves true in instances when I say I will do something and truly have the desire to follow through with that intention but am unable to because of certain circumstances. This is what happened today. I made several commitments and fully intended to keep them however I was simply not able to because of some things that I don't really have control over at the moment . As a result I felt that I was leaving people hanging.
For about a month now my body has just not been willing to cooperate on several different levels and quite frankly it has been very painful and frustrating. Because of this I have not been able to take part in one of my top stress relievers (aka the gym) which has not helped me much either. I tend to be very good at masking the way I am feeling and hate making a big deal out of things so many times people have no idea if something is wrong. However I realize that I am very understanding when these types of things happen to other people.
So why don't I cut myself some slack? Good question. Note to self.....the slack starts now. This applies to all different dimensions of life. My best is all I can do; sometimes it may not be exactly what I was looking for or wanting to accomplish, but it is enough. Life is too short to waist in thoughts that will yield no positive outcomes.
P.S. sorry if some of this doesn't make sense, I am on some lovely meds. =)
For about a month now my body has just not been willing to cooperate on several different levels and quite frankly it has been very painful and frustrating. Because of this I have not been able to take part in one of my top stress relievers (aka the gym) which has not helped me much either. I tend to be very good at masking the way I am feeling and hate making a big deal out of things so many times people have no idea if something is wrong. However I realize that I am very understanding when these types of things happen to other people.
So why don't I cut myself some slack? Good question. Note to self.....the slack starts now. This applies to all different dimensions of life. My best is all I can do; sometimes it may not be exactly what I was looking for or wanting to accomplish, but it is enough. Life is too short to waist in thoughts that will yield no positive outcomes.
P.S. sorry if some of this doesn't make sense, I am on some lovely meds. =)
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